Elope

 "run away secretly in order to get married, especially without parental consent." (from www.dictionary.com)

On one of the groups I belong to on FB several people have posted that they have, or are going to, elope.

Now, I want to make sure you understand that I do not know the story behind these elopement. Dont know anything about these people at all.

But the posts made me think. Think about things like how the media colors our definition of things. And how the media has changed the meanings of words over the years.

If you say "elope" to me, I think about what I have read, or seen on TV or in movies, about eloping. Generally speaking, it is a couple who cannot or is not allowed to get married in the "traditional" way. And so they run away together. Usually to city hall, or some place there is a magistrate to perform a legal ceremony. Sometimes it is right there in the town/city where they live. Sometimes it is several towns away; sometimes in other states.

Often these people are married in the clothes they were wearing when they ran away, whether it is a nice dress for the woman, or a business suit, or jeans. Maybe they stopped to buy a bouquet of flowers. But usually there is none of the usual wedding  falderol involved.

Sometimes it is planned well in advance, sometimes it is a last minute thing. Sometimes a couple of other people know it is happening.

But the ones I have been reading about do not follow my traditional understanding of "eloping" at all. These women - and the posters thus far have all been women - talk about the issues of taking a full length wedding gown on the plane, and finding someone/someplace to press it once they arrive, so that it looks new and not wrinkled and packed.

And they have hired a company to plan this wedding. A wedding that includes a venue; someone to perform the ceremony; flowers; photographer....A complete wedding in other words. Not just a couple standing in front of some civil magistrate saying a few words, and signing on the dotted line of the marriage license.

Not only that, they have had to make preparations in advance - time off of work, someone to care for maybe other family members, or pets. They have had to book a room, make plane reservations, transportation to and from the airport. All of these, including the wedding company and the dress, involve quite a bit of money. Maybe not as much as a full blown traditional wedding, but more money than a tankful of gas, money for the license, and probably a celebratory meal of some sort afterwards.

So I have trouble getting my head around calling all this an "elopement".

And again - I have NO knowledge about the backstory of why they decided to do it this way - Pandemic anyone? 

But is also makes me feel sad for them. Because the use of the word means running away. Running away from family and friends. Hopefully running towards something that will bring a lifetime of happiness but still....leaving behind those who would possibly love to see the joy and happiness this marriage would bring their love ones. 

So it makes me wonder if these are truly elopements - or are they a new definition of an old word (this word is from the late 16th century according to the definition). And am I just missing the new usage of this word? Is there support for these couples? Will family and friends be at this wedding?

Who knows. 

And I will probably never know.

But it is interesting how brief glimpses into other people's lives make you ponder things.