I dont like March any more

Altho these photos do make me smile. Yesterday I looked outside and my lilac bush was teaming with butterflies, and some bees. The orange ones were shy and flew away any time I tried to get too close, or shifted, or even clicked the camera. The yellow one, well, I say he was posing for me....more likely he was drunk on the nectar...

It is true. A broken heart physically hurts. When my daughter called me as soon as she found out about the Oakland police officers in their debriefing, I was so upset. So sorry, so scared for her and her husband. I can usually put that fear at the back of my mind. But not these last few weeks.

And then this morning as I was getting ready to meet with the students, a knock came at our door. A neighbor across the street came over to tell me that our next door neighbor's son had been killed the day before.

I thought it was unusual that there were so many cars next door this AM but.....

The boy, who is 36, worked for PG&E and apparently fell off of a pole and died. I cannot imagine (and dont want to) what it feels like to lose a child. But this the second friend who has lost an adult child - one who seemed to have life going well for them finally. And then, it is all over.

Had to let my family know - and that was hard too. My son, who is 7 years younger than him, always treated him like the older brother he never had.

And so, yes, there is physical pain when your heart is breaking for someone else.

And the outrage to hear that they are having a walk and vigil for that criminal who shot those police officers in cold blood - yeah, that says a lot about a city and some of its citizens when they try to make a hero out of scum.....scum who had weapons he never should of had - scum who was being investigated for RAPING A TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRL and maybe many others - the scum who shot the motorcycle officers, and then walked over and shot them again....yeah, I can see why so many citizens of Oakland are hanging their head in shame when they are lumped together with those people who are trying to make this scum a hero and the police officers the bad guys....

And my heart still breaks even when my head is filled with such anger.