Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Funny story

Read this cute story in a newsletter I get from awesome Ewe, an online knitting store (www.awesomeewe.com). If youare old enough to remember Burns and Allan you will really enjoy it...

Hi Danielle:

A Knitter For President ???

Did you know that one of our own kind - a knitter - actually ran for the office of the President? It's true and I have the facts.

A few decades ago, a knitter sat thinking as she stitched away on a sweater. Suddenly it came to her out of the blue. She called to her husband and told him with no uncertainty that she was going to run for President.

"You're, you're running for President?" Her incredulous husband burst out when he heard the political ambitions. "How long has this being going on?"
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"For a hundred and fifty years," she responded. "George Washington started it!"

Her husband thought the whole idea was "preposterous." "Not only that," our knitter replied, "it pays good money too!"

The hubby then wanted to know what party his wife was running under - Democrat or Republican.

"The Surprise Party of course!" As our knitter so eloquently explained it, her father had been a Republican, her mother a Democrat and she had been born a Surprise.

"How are you on speech making?"

"I'm not going to try to impress my audience. I'm just going to act like I don't know what I'm talking about, then they won't think I'm too smart for them."

"What about all that hand shaking? Won't that affect your knitting?"

"I'm practicing lots. Sometimes it's embarrassing when I do it without thinking. The other day I was motoring on Sunset Boulevard and a man stuck out his hand, so I took it.

"Fare, lady," he said.

"You're no foul ball yourself, big boy," I said. "Then I realized he was the bus conductor!"

So as ewe can see for yourself, our knitter had everything under control.

She even had her mascot and slogan picked out too. Her mascot would be a kangaroo named Laura. Her slogan: "It's In The Bag!" (I'm not sure if this referred to her knitting or to the fact that the kangaroo was a new mom.) Her campaign buttons would have to be sew on ones of course - obviously to discourage supporters from changing their minds about her in midstream.

"Who's your vice presidential candidate?" The husband wanted to know.

"None." There would be no vice in her administration, let me tell you! She then offered her platform ideas. She suggested that Congress should be put on commission. If the country did well, it would get ten per cent of the profits. She was also wanting the Civil Service to be extended to all branches of the government because, after all: "A little politeness goes a long way!"

The current president of the time had held that position for several years, the husband informed his ambitious wife. That didn't bother our little knitter one bit.

As she so cleverly responded: "I'm sure he wouldn't mind getting up and giving his seat to a lady. That old saying about not changing horses in the middle of the stream is ridiculous, when you remember that people have been changing babies in the middle of the afternoon for years and everybody takes it for granted."

The knitter and her supportive hubby hit the campaign trail and worked their hearts out to get her elected. The election came and went with the winner collecting more than twenty-seven million votes.

Our little knitter got just a few hundred write-ins. But at least we knitters can say with pride that one of us ran for the Presidency of the United States. (In case you're wondering who our little stitcher was - her name was Gracie Allen, the wife of George Burns!)"

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